3 Steps Backwards, 2 Steps Forward.

The cycle of any type of healing I would imagine is this. You start to move and as hard as it is to do you do it because you have people there with you to help pull you up. Then in a moment of weakness, you fall back some steps. It doesn't feel good at all when this happens, but I'm starting to think that it is an essential part of healing because the more steps you take forward, the times that you do fall, you start to realize what made you slip to start with. In a time in my life when I'm not too fond of self realization, I find myself realizing that the things that trigger my pain, control issues, my need to feel powerful, the things that trigger those are going to be in my everyday life situations: does that suck? YEAH! But I am not one to close myself off from society or my culture because it isn't condusive to my healing process. So what to do? Well how I'm feeling right now, What I'm going to do: I am going to grab to bull by the horns, look my problems in the face, and with everything I have in me... FIGHT. My family is standing up for me in this, I figure, I'M GOING TO STAND UP FOR ME. I have been so tough all my life, standing up for my friends and family. I forgot that sometimes I need to stand up for myself. It isn't going to be easy and it won't (I promise) happen over night. But I will eventually stand on my own two feet and say, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, YOU ARE D.O.N.E. SUCKA!"

You all sleep well, sleep long, sleep fast and sleep with sweet dreams!